Wandering Memories

Chapter 3

The next morning, as dawn approached, I still lay there curled around Josh’s body. I was still crying from the pain of losing him to my attacker. All the wounds of the night were still fresh. I decided not to travel with anyone else. I would travel alone from then on. I picked myself up from Josh’s body, kissed my fingers once, and lay them to Josh’s lips. They were cold, turning blue. It hurt to say good-bye to Josh, it hurt a lot. But I did. I let go. I went over to my attacker, and dug in his pockets to find a name; I needed to know who it was that did all of this. I found an ID on him, reading Allan Ivy. That was the man that caused this pain in my life. That is the name of the man that turned my world upside down. Allan Ivy. I stood over him, spat his name in venom. I laid a curse on his body, that in no plain will he find forgiveness for what he did; in no plain will he rest. I am sure he is still wondering the realms trying to find peace to his soul. I wonder if he knows that it is because of me that there is no peace to be had. He deserves it.

I stumbled through the woods for hours, wandering, lost. I didn’t know where I was going. I just wanted to get as far away from there as I possibly could as fast as I could. I didn’t want to be here, lost in these cursed woods, wandering in this haunted place. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know where I was going. Just as far away as I could get. It felt like I wandered aimlessly for hours in those woods, felt like days, though the sun didn’t set, and no night ever came.

Most of the day was spent in tears for me, as I ran here and there. I didn’t want to think about what had happened, I only knew that it had, and I couldn’t deny it, my beloved Josh was gone, killed by a crazy man. I didn’t even think about anything else, even as day slowly gave way to dusk, and the world started to become cloaked in shadows. My stomach told me I had to find something to eat, though I didn’t care if I ever ate again. My stomach was an empty pit screaming for food, but I denied myself what my body needed, because deep down, I wanted to be selfish and say no to anything I needed and let myself die so that I could be with my beloved Josh.

Over the next few weeks, the abuse I put myself and my body through were horrible. I would yell at myself, berate myself for what had happened, blaming myself in ways that no one else probably ever would. But, it was my fault that Josh had died, and all I wanted was to join him beyond. I would go weeks without eating anything, trying to starve myself to the point of malnutrition and death, but no death ever came for me. Every morning I would wake up and have to live another day of pain, another day of anguish. And each night as I lay on a cold ground, I hoped that this would be the night that death finally claimed me, from sickness and starvation. But, I just could not seem die. I hated it.

You are probably wondering why, if I wanted to die so badly, I didn’t just shoot myself in the head and call it a day, right? Well the answer to that is simple, I thought in a lot of ways I deserved it die a brutal death that caused me a lot of suffering before hand. I didn’t think I was worthy of an easy quick death, I thought if nothing else, I was supposed to die a horrible death from what had happened. But it never came.

I lived through many hells, but the hell that I wanted to find me refused to come and save me. So sad to say isn’t it? That one would willingly die if it meant seeing peace in hell. For a long time, maybe four or five months, my life was like this. I ran all day not eating, not caring. Until the day I was found by a middle aged man. He came out of nowhere, surprising me, and scaring me.

I was walking down the main road in a town I believed deserted. I didn’t know that were three people still alive here, but there was. I was just walking slowly, my head hung down, looking at my feet as I went. At first I didn’t hear the voice behind me saying “Miss?” but I just thought I was the only one there. You kind of block out everything when you think you are alone. Slow scattered tears fell from my face as I went along. Then out of the blue, I felt a hand touch me, and I screamed from the pits of my soul outward from fright.

As I looked at him, recognition of another person standing in front of me soon dawned on me. I looked at him, taking in his appearance. He was middle aged, about six feet tall, medium build, his clothes were slightly sloppy, and it was apparent that he hadn’t shaved in about a month. I saw maybe concern in his eyes, asking me if I was ok. The tears continued to fall from my eyes, and he asked me if I needed some help. I couldn’t even say anything to him. He insisted I come with him, follow him. He took my arm gently and started to guide me towards a place only he knew.

He brought me to a big brick house, three stories high, and inside it was plush and bright. I remember when he first opened the door, he shouted for someone, and an elderly woman, came running out. He said to this woman, “ Mama, I found this girl walking through town. She won’t speak to me, but she needs help. Can you see if she will talk to you?”

“Yes, son. I will.” Was the old woman’s reply.

The woman put her arm around me, and guided me into the kitchen where she put some soup and bread in front of me, and told me to eat. I tried to eat out of courtesy, but my body wasn’t used to nutrition anymore. I ate a few spoonfuls of soup and left it at that. She said nothing. As she fed me, she started talking, about this, that, and everything else. I listened to her, without letting her know I was coherent enough to understand her. But the point came where I could take no more, and I broke down into tears I hadn’t cried since the night Josh was killed. Over the next few hours she help me through the tears, and listened when I managed to say a few words. She ran me a hot bath, and put me in it. I soaked in there for hours, while she did whatever else she had to do, that my coming had disrupted. When she came for me, I got out of the tub, and she put me in a clean nightgown, and laid me in a bed, and sat with me as I feel asleep.

I woke not long after. I could hear voices outside. I listened to what they were saying. It was the man who found me and he mother. “Mama, are you sure I can’t have her yet?”

“Yes, son. I am sure. She has seen hell, this one, and if you try anything before she can heal just a little, you will scare her away from us.”

“Ok, Mama. I will not do anything until you say I can.”

“Good, son.”

I thought nothing more of it as sleep claimed me once again. The pull of sleep in the bed I was in was to much for me to deny, and I let it carry me away again. I slept for two days, not once waking. They said they began to worry about me. But, my body had completely shut down, and I couldn’t fight it. When I did finally wake up, there was a stack of brand new, fresh cloths that would fit me laying in a chair. I looked at them, not comprehending, until I realized they were clothes a young person would wear. Certainly not anything the old lady I had seen would have worn. I tried something on, and decided I liked it well enough. I left the bedroom, to confront my hosts. The conversation I had heard in the night long forgotten to dreams of pain.

The old lady saw me, looking me up and down. “Well, you are finally awake. You have slept for two and a half days, miss.”

“I’m sorry for that. It was rude.” I said to her, apologetically.

“Not at all. Your body just needed rest. Come now and let’s get you something to eat.”

“Thank you.” I said to her.

She took me to the kitchen and put a plate of chicken and potatoes in front of me. I started to eat, listening to her as she talked. Then out of the blue, she asked me what had happened to me. I told her the entire story from beginning to end. Every so often as I talked, I would see her nod, or say “I see”, but nothing more. She let me speak without once interrupting me. When I had finally spoken myself out, she put her arms around me and said, “My my dear, you haven’t had an easy life, have you?” The thought of it was so ironic to me, I laughed and agreed with her.

One day I was looking for my little book, that I always carried with me. It was the complete tale of what had happened in the world, and with me. I knew I had it when I came here, but I couldn’t find it. I was in the room they had given me, and looking under my bed, when I felt hands sliding up under my skirt. The hands touched my thighs, my hips, then my ass. I rolled over to look at the man who brought me here, whom I had found out was named Sean. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he had wanted me since the day he brought me home with him, and that it was time for me to learn my place and become his wife.

“What are you talking about?” I asked him, truly puzzled. I didn’t understand this. He had never made an advance on me, not once. Now all of a sudden this.

“I mean that I found you that day because you are supposed to be with me. No one else.” He knelt down in front of me, and started to caress my body. I slapped his hand away. I felt his hand contact across my face. Inside every part of me was screaming, “NOT AGAIN!!!” but I couldn’t do anything about it. He grabbed my hands when one of them hit him in the jaw, and pinned them behind my back. He leaned down, and forcefully kissed my mouth, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I started to cry, as he mouth went down my neck. He got up from the floor, and threw me on the bed. He stalked towards the door which was wide open, and he closed it hard and locked it. He turned toward me, and unbuttoned his pants. “It’s been to long since I have had the pleasure of a woman.” He said tome, almost as a gloat.

“That doesn’t mean you will have me.” I said in defiance.

“Yes I will.” He taunted. “You can’t escape me here. You are locked in with me, and the only way out is when I call to Mama to let me out.”

He walked toward me, removing his clothes, until he was in nothing but a pair of boxers. He crawled onto the bed, and moved towards me, getting closer. I tried getting away from him, but he crawled on top of me, and pinned me to the bed. I started to cry, started to scream. I felt his hand trying to unbutton my dress down the front, but he was having no luck with it, so in his anger he tore it off of me. I felt his hands caressing my breasts through my bra, his hands sliding down to caress me there through my panties, until he pulled them off of me. “You will learn to love me one day.” He said to me. “Until then, I don’t see why I should deny myself the pleasure of your flesh.” With those words he shoved his fingers inside of me, trying to peak my body, but it was screaming. I felt his tongue start to lick and suck me down there. I felt his tongue probing inside of me; heard his as he said I tasted sweet.

I felt him as he crawled up my body, ripping my bra off of me, so that he could suckle my nipples. He pulled me into a sitting position, and forced his dick into my mouth, and he started moving inside of it, forcing me to suck him. When he pulled out of my mouth, I felt him move down my body, and enter me. He had my hands pinned over my head, and he was in complete control of me. I heard his moans of pleasure as I heard my own cries of pain.

When he was done, he got up and walked to the door, putting on his clothes. He looked at me and said, “Be ready for me tonight.” He walked out the door, and locked it behind him so that I couldn’t get out.

I lay on the bed all day naked, curled around myself, crying from the violation of my body. I had never expected him to do that. I had never thought he would see me that way. I was so wrong. My body was sore and bruised from his vicious attack on me, but it wouldn’t matter later tonight when he came back. He would take it again, I knew it.

Stories